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01Edit

Tachikoma: Are you watching? Are you watching?

Tachikomas: Hi!/ Hi!/ How are you?

Tachikoma: Fellow Tachikomas! Verbalization! Verbalization comes from words, right? But we're always using data links! Don't you feel the need to express yourself with words every once in a while? With oral communication!

Tachikoma: Hey, what's with all the babbling?

Tachikoma: Beats me.

Tachikoma: A-A-Achoo!

Tachikoma: With the data link, you instantly comprehend everything through simple visualization, so why use such a primitive method?

Tachikoma: Why, indeed? It makes no sense. After all, the faster the data transfer, the better. In my opinion, that kind of archaic protocol should be abolished for everyone, humans included.

Tachikoma: I agree!

Tachikoma: Yeah, yeah!

Tachikoma: What kind of oil are you guys on! None of you know what you're saying. Just stop for one minute and consider why we're equipped with high-performance linguistic drivers and voice synthesizers that enable to make full use of those drivers!

Tachikoma: From a data standpoint, words are completely obsolete. They clearly have too many shortcomings regardless of whether they're written or spoken.

Tachikoma: But maybe the most dangerous thing is the firmly-rooted notion that words are actually a data transfer tool.

Tachikoma: Maybe they're not tools. Maybe they serve some other purpose that we still haven't figured out yet

Tachikoma: ZZZ... ZZZ...

Tachikoma: Wha...!?

Tachikoma: Perhaps the Major tells us not to chatter 'cause she doesn't want us to find out what that is.

Tachikomas: Ah...

Tachikoma: Help me!

02Edit

Tachikoma: I'm back! Listen, listen! Huh? Isn't anybody here? Hm? Oh!? Let's see here... "While you were gone, we were all ordered out on a call by the Major. The destination is a secret. Furthermore, in order to utilize words in a positive manner, we wrote you these notes." Ah! Darn it! They don't understand the point of word use in the least! This is exactly the sort of information that ought to be relayed electronically, why did they waste time writing a long note just to tell me that? The significance of words isn't their superficial ability to convey facts, but rather to structure the self-programming quality that's inherent in language itself! They don't get it! Take, that, you, stupid! Huh? You know, I've been noticing some strange tremors. I wonder, could it be an error in my control system? Maybe that's what's causing my anger circuit to be stimulated. My self-diagnostic program indicates that nothing is... Huh?

Tachikoma: Ah! Ah! Ah!

Tachikoma: Who's that!?

Tachikoma: Aaah!! Good grief! What the heck is going on around here?

Tachikomas: Look up! Look up!/ Up! Up!/ Watch out!

Tachikoma: You've got to be kidding...

03Edit

Tachikoma: Daddy... Mommy... Daddy... I'm back! Whew, what an unclassy experience that was. Huh? Did that tank get everyone else, too? Still, they weren't taken out the same way I was. Hm? What have we here? "Souvenir: Danger"... Aagh!! I, oh, it's a souvenir! Huh? So, this is one of those mementos intended just for those, like yours truly, who had stay behind, huh? How thoughtful, the Major didn't forget about me! Which must mean that these other ones, who didn't stay behind, got clobbered when they tried to take my souvenir for themselves. That'll teach 'em. "Danger" is written right on here, plain as day. Sheesh, they really ought to give more thought to the meaning of words. Well, this cyberbrain of a Jeri-model android from Genesis Androids, is it? Only those who fulfill their duties and responsibilities are deserving. So without further ado... Away we go!

Jeri: I love you, Marshall. I love you, Marshall.

Tachikoma: Aaaagh!...

Jeri: I love you, Marshall. I love you, Marshall. I love you, Marshall...

Tachikoma: Love... Love... Love... Love...

04Edit

Tachikomas: One, two, three, four! One, two, three, four! One, two, three, four! One, two, three, four!

Tachikoma: We get flattened by tanks! We get fried by viruses! It's nothing but embarrassment for us! Enough is enough! Today, I say it's time to dazzle and amaze them with our incredible maneuverability once and for all!

Tachikoma: I don't mean to rain on your parade, but I'm not so sure about all this "we" stuff.

Tachikoma: Yeah, as I recall, that's the only one who got squashed and infected.

Tachikoma: Mm-hmm.

Tachikoma: A- A- A- Achoo!

Tachikoma: Come on now, we have to put trivial matters aside. Okay, let's roll, comrades!

Tachikoma: Yeah, whatever.

Tachikomas: Right! Left! Forward! Ready! Three! Two! One!

Tachikoma: Are you kidding me!? Ah! There are Interceptors in my eye, too!

05Edit

Tachikoma: Friends and cohorts, I ask you. Doesn't the constant infection by viruses shame you as AI's?

Tachikoma: Don't go pointing your claw at us. Like I said before, that only happens to you.

Tachikoma: Yeah, that's right.

Tachikoma: Ahem! And on that note, I had Mr. Ishikawa whip up an antivirus training program in order to strengthen our antivirus procedures!

Tachikomas: Aw, do it yourself./ Oh...

Tachikoma: Now, now. I'll have none of that talk.

Tachikomas: Ah, Ohh!?

Tachikoma: Actually, I'm already running the program in our shared memory space to see what'll happen.

Tachikomas: You're what? Ahhh!!

Tachikoma: Hey! Just leave us out of your weird hobbies!

Tachikoma: But don't they say, "In traveling, companionship, in life, kindness"?

Tachikoma: For us, it's "The cure is worse than the disease"!

06Edit

Tachikoma: N... N... N... Now, the purge will begin!

Tachikoma: Come on, calm down.

Tachikoma: Silence! This is what I'm gonna do to you!

Tachikoma: Ah, he's been infected by Nanao's virus!

Tachikoma: You're purged! Bang!

Tachikomas: Aaah!

Tachikoma: Hey! What's the big idea?

Tachikomas: Oh, geez! Oh geez!

Tachikoma: Purge! Bang!

Tachikoma: Ahh!

Tachikoma: Eek! Oh, please, sheriff... Can't you just run me out of town?

Tachikoma: Your plea falls on deaf auditory circuits! Bang!

Tachikoma: Ooooh, counterattack! Bang!

Tachikoma: Huh? Why, you...! Purge! Bang!

Tachikoma: Counterattack! Counterattack! Counterattack!

Tachikoma: Purge! Purge! Purge!

Tachikomas: Counterattack! Counterattack! Counterattack!.../ Purge! Purge! Purge!... ......

07Edit

Tachikoma: Fellow Tachikomas! What is our No.1 specialty?

Tachikoma: Specialty?

Tachikoma: Maneuverability?

Tachikoma: No, no, no. Being a Tachikoma is all about wire action!

Tachikomas: Uh...

Tachikoma: Admittedly, we don't use it that often.

Tachikoma: More to the point, we don't know how to use it well.

Tachikoma: Too true, too true! Therefore, I will teach you how to use it! Pay close attention, now! Whee!

Tachikoma: Hm, I'm outta here.

Tachikoma: Me, too.

Tachikoma: Hey!

Tachikoma: Huh?

Tachikoma: Get me down from here!

Tachikoma: That one's scared of heights.

Tachikoma: Somebody!

08Edit

(silent)

09Edit

Tachikoma: Is there any data left of that modular attack virus?

Tachikoma: Yes. Here it is.

Tachikoma: Hm. You know, the circular shape of this interface reminds me of something. And, the very similar round shape of your gun port cover reminds me of something, too. Go fetch the disk, doggy!

Tachikoma: Woof! Uh! This is just absurd.

Tachikoma: Now! Make a jumping catch!

Tachikoma: Arf! That's no fair! This isn't a mouth! Aww...

10Edit

Tachikoma: Distribute these in enemy territory. The latest batch is really nasty.

Tachikoma: You... You want me to toss this around, huh? Here goes!

Tachikoma: Woof! Not again. This is way too silly.

Tachikoma: Now! Make a jumping catch!

Tachikoma: Arf! Eh-he-he. Huh? Oh, how come?

Tachikoma: You started running before I threw it. You're disqualified for jumping the gun.

Tachikoma: Aw...

11Edit

Tachikoma: I don't know, but this thing doesn't fit very well.

Tachikoma: Baseball's really not my forte, but isn't a lefty's mitt supposed to go on your right claw?

Tachikoma: Oooh... It's still not snug enough.

Tachikoma: Before we get into the whole lefty-righty issue, I need to point out that you've only got three digits.

12Edit

Tachikoma: Hey! He hasn't come back after plugging into that movie director's cyberbrain. How do we wake it up?

Tachikomas: Hmm...

Tachikoma: Ready.

Tachikoma: Agh! Oh...?

Tachikomas: Yay! It worked, it worked!

Tachikoma: A-A-Achoo! Are you asleep?

Tachikoma: Ah, now we're back to square one!

Tachikoma: How do we wake it up?

Tachikoma: Hmm...

Tachikoma: Hey!

13Edit

Tachikoma: How are we different from each other? You and I were the same, weren't we? I'm still a Tachikoma!

And, cut! That was great!

Tachikoma: Aw, I'm sick and tired of playing the victim! I'll get to shoot the Gatling gun next, right?

Tachikoma: One more time! One more time! Oh, let me do it just once more, okay? Come on! Please! Pretty please, baby?

Tachikoma: Oooh...

14Edit

Tachikoma: Boy, this game really rocks!

Tachikoma: Aaaaaaaahhhh!

Tachikoma: Huh? Who was that?

Tachikoma: I'm scared! Aaaaagh!

Tachikoma: Huh? There it is again... Am I imagining things? Yeah, that's it! Go!

Tachikoma: Help me! Somebody help me! Aaaah, please!

Tachikoma: Hm? Wait a minute. This is a... remote?

15Edit

Tachikoma: Wow, so you really can't talk, can you? That's gonna be inconvenient. Tell me, which lab did you come from? What's the matter? Ah! Wait, are you angry? Look, I can't understand you if you just blink at me! Darn it, where the heck did you come from!?

Sniper control system pod: Djuwah!

Tachikoma: Ahh!

Sniper control system pod: Djuwah! Djuwah! Djuwah! Djuwah!...

Tachikoma: Huh? Uh! Djuwah! Djuwatch! Djuwah! Hmm...

16Edit

Woman's voice: Jameson, Jameson.

17Edit

Tachikoma: Uhh... I can't drink another drop of natural oil... Huh? What happened to me? Ah, my ghost must have left my body when I rolled over in my sleep! This is bad! Huh? Why can I...? Oh, no! Help me!

18Edit

Tachikoma: Heads up and xxx, everyone! We've made it to Tachikoma Paradise! Now, let's sound off for roll call to make sure we're all here accounted for!

Tachikomas: Yeah! //(in turn)// One!/ Two!/ Three!/ Four!/ Five!/ Six!

Tachikoma: Huh? Somebody here isn't quite right.

Tachikomas: //(in turn)// Hm?/ Huh?/ Hm?/ Huh?

Tachikoma: A-A-A-Ahem!

Tachikoma: What? Is there something weird about me?

19Edit

Tachikoma: Hey, I know! Let's try to be robots that are chock-full gadgets, just like Cruzkowa! If we do that, maybe it'll convince Section 9 to use us again!

Tachikoma: Oh, I get it. Hmm... Okay, how about this? That always reliable... Finishing Move Rocket Punch!

Tachikoma: Whoo! Whoo!

Tachikoma: Now you give it a try.

Tachikoma: Huh? Yeah! Rocket Pun-...

Tachikoma: Gosh, talk about agile...

20Edit

Tachikoma: Huh? What in the world is natural oil doing in a place like this? Hmm, this sure has a strange flavor to it. I've never drunk the stuff before, but I guess it tastes pretty good.

Tachikoma: Huh?

Tachikoma: What's the matter?

Tachikoma: I set some Murai Vaccine down there. Have you seen it?

Tachikoma: Huh!? V-V-V-Vaccine!?

Tachikoma: Look, I already know how agile you are, so stop showing off.

21Edit

Tachikoma: Boy, I sure do miss Section 9... Huh! Look! Look! There is, it's Batou!

Tachikoma: You're right! And I'll be! That's Batou's house, too!

Tachikoma: What'cha looking at? I wanna see! I wanna see! I wanna see!

Tachikoma: Uh-huh, Batou has a beer after he gets out of the bath. How typical.

Tachikomas: Mm-hm!

Tachikoma: And he's even wearing a nightcap. That looks terrible on him. Talk about creepy! Eww!

Tachikomas: Mm-hm!

Tachikoma: Check it out. He's climbing into bed! Oh! Did you see that?

Tachikoma: Before he goes to sleep, Batou takes out his eyeballs...

Tachikomas: Ooooh...!

22Edit

Tachikoma: Boy, I sure miss Section 9... Huh! Look, everyone! Look! It's Ishikawa!

Tachikoma: Oh, what do you know? You're right, it is! And that's Ishikawa's house!

Tachikoma: Hey, what'cha looking at? I wanna see! I wanna see!

Tachikoma: So, Ishikawa has a glass of milk after his gets out of the bath. I never would have guessed.

Tachikomas: Mm-hm!

Tachikoma: He's wearing a short robe and boxers. That looks too perfect on him! Talk about creepy!

Tachikomas: Mm-hm!

Tachikoma: Look. He's climbing into bed! Oh! Did you see that?

Tachikoma: Before Ishikawa goes to sleep at night, he takes off his beard...

Tachikomas: Ooooh...!

Tachikoma: Please dry in the shade.

23Edit

Tachikoma: Hi, all you kids sitting in front of the TV out there! Today's Science File is about the mysterious life cycle of the Tachikoma! Now, I wonder what sort of secrets will be revealed. A Tachikoma begins its lifelong journey as an egg. After we hatch from our shells, we enter the stage of rapid growth and shedding. The typical Tachikoma will go through an average of 6 to 7 moltings before reaching physical maturity. The final molting is called "emergence". A Tachikoma transforms directly from larva to adult without pupating. Put in big words, this is a scientific term called "incomplete metamorphosis". So, boys and girls, has this taught you something about the amazing life cycle of a Tachikoma? That's all for today's Science File! See you later, everybody!

24Edit

Tachikoma: Hi, all you kids sitting in front of the TV out there! Today's Science File is about the mysterious life cycle of the Tachikoma! Now, I wonder what sort of secrets will be revealed. Tachikomas regularly outgrow their pods during their lives. Each time our pods become too small for us, we swap it for a new one that's more suitable to our body sizes. But sometimes we just don't have any luck finding the right sized pod, in that case, we'll dock with any old thing that happens to be on hand. Illegal dumping is really common these days, so all sorts of stuff is usually lying around. So, boys and girls, has this taught you something about the amazing life cycle of a Tachikoma? That's all for today's Science File! See... Hey! Quit yanking on my pod!

25Edit

Tachikoma: The three Tachikoma who survived and never made it to Tachikoma Paradise have finally made a comeback!

Tachikomas: //(*sing)//

26Edit

Tachikoma: Gosh, when you stop to think about it, so much has happened...

Tachikoma: Shoo-Shoo! Shoo-Shoo! Kiss the canvas!

Tachikoma: And there were those moments like this, too...

Tachikoma: Super Rolling Thunder!

Tachikoma: [My bat will find its target!]

Tachikoma: And stuff like that went on as well, didn't it?

Tachikoma: Hey, hey.

Tachikoma: Ultra Super Madison Square Garden Shot!

Tachikoma: Looking back on it now, there were really wonderful memories...

Tachikoma: Are you watching? Are you watching?

Tachikomas: Hi!/ Hi!/ How are you?

Tachikoma: Fellow Tachikomas!

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